How Parents Can Help

If you discover that your child is being cyberbullied, talk to him or her about any experiences you have had in your childhood. This can help your child feel less alone. Let your child know that it's not his or her fault, and that bullying says more about the bully than the victim. Talking to teachers or school administrators also may help, but take cues from your child.

Many schools, school districts, and after-school clubs have established protocols for responding to cyberbullying; these vary by district and state. But before reporting the problem, let your child know that you plan to do so, as he or she could have concerns about "tattling" and might prefer that the problem be handled privately.

Other measures to try:

• Block the bully. Most devices have settings that allow you to electronically block emails, IMs, or text messages from specific people.
• Limit access to technology. Although it's hurtful, many kids who are bullied can't resist the temptation to check websites or phones to see if there are new messages. Keep the computer in a public place in the house (no laptops in children's bedrooms, for example) and limit the use of cell phones and games. Some companies allow you to turn off text messaging services during certain hours. And, most websites and phones provide the option for parental controls, which provide parents with access to their children’s messages and online life.
• Know your kids' online world. Check their postings and the sites kids visit, and be aware of how they spend their time online. Talk to them about the importance of privacy and why it's a bad idea to share personal information online, even with friends. Encourage them to safeguard passwords. Write up cell phone and social media contracts that you are willing to enforce.
• Look to the web for resource and support information about cyberbullying.

If your son or daughter agrees, you may also arrange for mediation with a therapist or counselor at school who can work with your child and/or the bully.

When Your Child Is the Bully

Finding out that your kid is the one who is behaving inappropriately can be upsetting and heartbreaking. It's important to address the problem head on and not wait for it to go away.

Talk to your child firmly about his or her actions and explain the negative impact it has on others. Joking and teasing might seem OK, but it can hurt people's feelings and lead to getting in trouble. Bullying — in any form — is unacceptable; there can be serious (and sometimes irrevocable) consequences at home, school, and in the community if it continues.

Remind your child that the use of cell phones and computers is a privilege. Sometimes it helps to restrict the use of these devices until behavior improves. If you feel your child should have a cell phone for safety reasons, make sure it is a phone that can only be used for emergency purposes. Insist on strict parental controls on all devices if there is any history of your child making impulsive decisions when they are online.

To get to the heart of the matter, sometimes talking to teachers, guidance counselors, and other school officials can help identify situations that lead a kid to bully others. If your child has trouble managing anger, talk to a therapist about helping your son or daughter learn to cope with anger, hurt, frustration, and other strong emotions in a healthy way.

Professional counseling often helps kids learn to deal with their feelings and improve their confidence and social skills, which in turn can reduce the risk of bullying. If you're tech-savvy yourself, model good online habits to help your kids understand the benefits and the dangers of life in the digital world.

Effects of Cyberbullying

No longer limited to schoolyards or street corners, modern-day bullying can happen at home as well as at school — essentially 24 hours a day. As long as kids have access to a phone, computer, or other device (such as an iTouch), they are at risk.

Severe or chronic cyberbullying can leave victims at greater risk for anxiety, depression, and other stress-related disorders. In some rare but highly publicized cases, some kids have turned to suicide.

The punishment for cyberbullies can include being suspended from school or kicked off of sports teams. Certain types of cyberbullying also may violate school codes or even anti-discrimination or sexual harassment laws.

Signs of Cyberbullying

Many kids and teens who are cyberbullied are reluctant to tell a teacher or parent, often because they feel ashamed of the social stigma, or because they fear their computer privileges will be taken away at home.

The signs that a child is being cyberbullied vary, but a few things to look for are:

• signs of emotional distress during or after using the Internet or the phone
• being very protective or secretive of their digital life
• withdrawal from friends and activities
• avoidance of school or group gatherings
• slipping grades and "acting out" in anger at home
• changes in mood, behavior, sleep, or appetite

cyberbullying

What Is Cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying is the use of technology to harass, threaten, embarrass, or target another person. By definition, it occurs among young people. When an adult is involved, it may meet the definition of cyber-harassment or cyber-stalking, a crime that can have legal consequences and involve jail time.

Sometimes cyberbullying can be easy to spot — for example, if your child shows you a text message, tweet, or response to a status update on Facebook that is harsh, mean, or cruel. Other acts are less obvious, like impersonating a victim online or posting personal information, photos, or videos designed to hurt or embarrass another person. Some kids report that a fake account, web page, or online persona has been created with the sole intention to harass and bully.

Cyberbullying also can happen accidentally. The impersonal nature of text messages, IMs, and emails make it very hard to detect the sender's tone — one person's joke could be another's hurtful insult. Nevertheless, a repeated pattern of emails, text messages, and online posts is rarely accidental.

A 2006 poll from the national organization Fight Crime: Invest in Kids found that 1 in 3 teens and 1 in 6 preteens have been the victims of cyberbullying. As more and more youths have access to computers and cell phones, the incidence of cyberbullying is likely to rise.

Why Do People Bully?   
If you've been bullied, here are some reasons why the bully might be bullying you. They may think it will make them look popular or in charge or sometimes they do it to get attention. Also they may have low self esteem or they might feel bad about themselves or feel insecure, unimportant, pressured, and frustrated and take it out on other people. Maybe, they have seen someone they look up to bully someone else to get something they want, making the bully think that it's okay to bully. Also, they might have been bullied before. They might not have any friends, or they may be in a bully gang.

Different Types of Bullying

There are many types of bullying:

• Physical bullying - 
• Hitting
• kicking
• pinching
• scratching                                                                                    
• spitting
• any other kind of physical attack

• Verbal bullying -
• name calling
• insulting someone with words
• making racist, sexist, or homophobic jokes or remarks
• Indirect bullying - 
• spreading rumors, 
• being made the subject of nasty rumors, 
• exclusion from social groups, 
• sending abusive mail
• sending threatening email and text messages

How Bullies Choose Their Targets

    Do you know how bullies choose their targets?

     Bullies choose people that are:

• Soft spoken, shy students that are unable to defend themselves.
• Kids that are not very popular.
• People of different color or that have disabilities.
• People that don't have many friends or are lonesome.

How to Stop a Bully

• Don't bully back - If you try to hurt the bully back that will only satisfy him/her and can cause the injury of someone. You are most likely to be the one injured because you never know what the bully is going to in return.

• Tell someone - Try to find an adult that you trust and will listen, such as a teacher or parent. If one adult doesn'tseem to respond, find another one who will!

• Stick with friends - Staying together in a group offers extra protection. Also, hearing someone comforting you is very up-lifting.

• Ignore the bully/walk away - Nothing makes bullies more frustrated then not getting a big reaction.  It takes away their fun.

• Act brave - A bully is probably less likely to pick on you if you don't act scared.

• Stand up for yourself - Telling a bully to his/her face to stop and then walking away may stop the bully by surprise and give the bully a message.

BULLYING

Bullying is a form of aggressive behavior manifested by the use of force or coercion to affect others, particularly when the behavior is habitual and involves an imbalance of power. It can include verbal harassment or threat, physical assault or coercion and may be directed repeatedly towards particular victims, perhaps on grounds of race, religion, gender, sexuality, or ability. The "imbalance of power" may be social power and/or physical power. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a "target".

Bullying consists of three basic types of abuse – emotional, verbal, and physical. It typically involves subtle methods of coercion such as intimidation. Bullying can be defined in many different ways. The UK currently has no legal definition of bullying, while some U.S. states have laws against it.

Bullying ranges from simple one-on-one bullying to more complex bullying in which the bully may have one or more 'lieutenants' who may seem to be willing to assist the primary bully in his or her bullying activities. Bullying in school and the workplace is also referred to as peer abuse. Robert W. Fuller has analyzed bullying in the context of rankism.

Bullying can occur in any context in which human beings interact with each other. This includes school, church, family, the workplace, home, and neighborhoods. It is even a common push factor in migration. Bullying can exist between social groups, social classes, and even between countries. In fact, on an international scale, perceived or real imbalances of power between nations, in both economic systems and in treaty systems, are often cited as some of the primary causes of both World War I and World War II.

Basic Facts About the Filipino Youth

We are one-tird of the Philippine population, defined as those who are 15-30 years old.
(Republic Act 8044)
  We love school a lot. But study has little time to do with it. What really like most in school are not so much the teacher's lectures (23%), but activities that involve interaction with our friends and classmates.

(The McCann-Philllipines Youth Study 2000)

  We spend 2 to 5 hours, 2 to 3 times a week, in a mall. We continue to take in over 30 hours of media weekly, securing its position of dominance and influence.
(J. Walter Thompson's Survey of Media Habits of Filipino Teens.)
  We are bombarded with the most number of commercials per hour among Asians: a taxing 18 minuites comared to 13 in Australia, 12 in Indonesia and Singapore, 11 in Japan, 10 in Hong Kong, Thailang and the Us, and 8 in South Korea.

(Fookien Times, 1998)

  Of all the issues that trobles us adolecents today, lonliness ranks at the top of the list... Loneliness creates an emotional vaccum that is filled by an intense peer culturee, a critical buffer against young people's fear of isolation.

(Newsweek, 10 May 1999)

 "Having good marraige and family life" (98%) is topmost in what we consider as very importanst aspects of our life. And first in our list of things that give us personal satisfaction is "the way we get along with our parents"

(National Survey on Youth, National Statistics Office)

Unplanned pregnancies on the rise

MANILA, Philippines — "I'm pregnant!” are two words any parent would dread hearing from their teenage daughter.

The truth however is appalling: teenagers are having sex. Based on a survey by the National Statistical Coordination Board (NSCB) 23 percent or five million Filipino adolescents aged 15-24 have already engaged in premarital sex; the direct result of which are an increase in the incidences of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and unplanned pregnancies that lead to abortion.

According to a World Health Organization (WHO) study, one third of teen pregnancies worldwide result in abortion. In the Philippines where abortion is illegal, the numbers are unspeakable: 64,000 abortions annually, based on a study by the World Bank in 2010.

“The harsh realities on unwanted pregnancies are shocking. The burden is on young women who have to face social stigmas that can have harmful psychological and social impact. Educating the young on pressing issues on sexual health is imperative,” says Isa Marfori, brand manager for leading condom brand Durex.

ESCALATING PROBLEM

A World Bank study revealed that the Philippines is among the top 10 countries with an escalating population of teenage mothers.

Seven out of 10 Filipino mothers are adolescents ages 19 years old and below. As of 2010, there are at least four million young mothers in the Philippines and at least 10 mothers die during childbirth everyday based on statistics by the United Nations Family Planning Association (UNFPA).

UN’s population experts contend that adolescents are particularly susceptible to unwanted pregnancy because they are often completely uninformed or worse, misinformed about sexuality and the risks associated with early and unprotected sexual activity.

Another reason they argue is the non-use or misuse of condoms. “The risk of health-compromising sexual behavior among the youth continues. Health-care workers, parents and teachers should provide them information on proper use of condoms,” adds Isa.

With the prevalence of STDs, the prophylactic has been the norm for sexually active adolescents, according to a study by the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior conducted by professors of the Indiana University School of Medicine in 2010.

“Condoms are no big deal. Unplanned pregnancies and sexuallytransmitted diseases are. We must raise awareness on these two issues among the youth who are more adventurous and prone to sexual risks,” adds Marfori.

Recently, Durex raised the bar in advocating healthy sexual behavior and relationships by mounting “What’s the Big Deal?A Sexhibit,” an exhibit that aimed to enlighten visitors about responsible sex and how sex-related problems including unplanned pregnancies can be prevented with the use of condoms.

The number one condom brand in the world hopes to bolster its efforts to improve knowledge on the spread of STDs and unplanned pregnancies through events that educate adults on these pressing issues. It is committed to launch more programs that hope to enlighten more Filipinos on the importance of ensuring that sexual health is coupled with responsibility
.

Top 10 Issues for Youth

Over the years, youth in our classes identified these as the top 10 struggles 

they face in transforming their lives. These are not in a particular order.

•Dealing with stress

•Dealing with death, loss, and grief

•Dealing with guilt, regret

•Gangs & loyalty code

•Relationships/ Sex

•Drugs

•Conflict, anger, fighting

•Despair/ hopelessness “It’s too late for me…”

•Money, jobs, school

•Family

‘Sex issues’ top youth problem – survey

Sex issues are the number one concern of young Filipinos

The most urgent concerns of young people today are sex-related issues like pre-marital sex and teen pregnancies, according to a recent survey among Catholic youth ministers in the country.

The survey, commissioned by the National Secretariat for Youth Apostolate (NSYA), showed that young Filipinos are grappling the hardest with “sex issues,” followed by “growth in faith” and “nurturing relationships.”

“Family issues” and “drug abuse, vices” came in fourth and fifth, respectively.

Runualdo Villamata, diocesan youth leader of Lucena in Quezon, admitted that early physical intimacy jeopardizes young people’s future. “In our place, there are 16-year-olds who have two kids already,” he said.

According to Villamata, the Church and youth ministry are responding more actively to this reality of young Filipinos. He said that since January, the Diocese of Lucena, for example, has been holding basic orientation seminars, which have talks on God, the Church, the Christian family and youth ministry.

Villamata, who oversees the youth ministries in Lucena’s 36 parishes, said that such seminars also encourage young people to wait before plunging into exclusive relationships and to see the value of chastity.

The NSYA, the executive arm of the CBCP – Episcopal Commission on Youth, surveyed youth ministers from 86 dioceses in the country and 27 member organizations of the Federation of National Youth Organizations last April.

The survey was done primarily to consult youth ministers regarding the program and content of the National Conference for Youth Ministers in October.

DrugFacts: High School and Youth Trends

Revised July 2012

Every year, the Monitoring the Future (MTF) survey measures drug, alcohol, and tobacco use and related attitudes among 8th, 10th, and 12th graders. Following are facts and statistics about youth substance use from the 2011 MTF report.

Illicit Drug Use

Illicit drug use among teenagers has been rising, largely due to increasing popularity of marijuana. Marijuana use by adolescents declined from the late 1990s until the mid-to-late 2000s, but has been on the increase since then. In 2011, 7.2 percent of 8th graders, 17.6 percent of 10th graders, and 22.6 percent of 12th graders used marijuana in the past month, up from 5.7 percent, 14.2 percent, and 18.8 percent in 2007. Daily use has also increased; 6.6 percent of 12th graders now use marijuana every day, compared to 5 percent in the mid-2000s.

Rising marijuana use reflects changing perceptions and attitudes.Historically, as perception of risks goes down, use goes up (and vice versa). Young people are showing less disapproval of marijuana use and decreased perception that marijuana is dangerous. The growing perception of marijuana as a safe drug may reflect recent public discussions over medical marijuana.

Synthetic marijuana is a new and major concern. Also known as Spice or K2, synthetic marijuana refers to herbal mixtures laced with synthetic cannabinoids, chemicals that act in the brain similarly to THC, the main active ingredient in marijuana. These mixtures could be obtained legally until recently and are still wrongly perceived as a safe alternative to marijuana. Synthetic marijuana was added to the MTF survey in 2011. In that year, 11.4 percent of 12th graders—one in nine—reported using it in the past year.

Nonmedical use of prescription and over-the-counter medicines remains a significant part of the teen drug problem. In 2011, 15.2 percent of high-school seniors used a prescription drug nonmedically in the past year. Data for specific drugs show that the most commonly abused prescription drugs by teens are the pain reliever Vicodin and the stimulant Adderall.

Positive trends in the past several years include reduced use of inhalants and less use of cocaine, especially crack cocaine. Past-year inhalant use by younger teens dropped significantly between 2010 and 2011, from 8.1 percent of 8th graders and 5.7 percent of 10th graders to 7.0 percent and 4.5 percent, respectively. Past-year use of crack cocaine by 12th graders dropped from 1.4 percent to 1.0 percent. Other drugs, such as heroin, methamphetamine, and hallucinogens, are holding fairly steady.

Ecstasy (MDMA) use is seeing a resurgence among older teens. Past-month use of ecstasy by 12th graders increased from 1.4 percent in 2010 to 2.3 percent in 2011. This may reflect the fact that, like marijuana, ecstasy is no longer considered as dangerous as it once was. From 2005 to 2011, the percentage of 12th graders who said that trying ecstasy once or twice would be risky dropped from 60.1 percent to 49.0 percent.

Alcohol

Alcohol use among teens has dropped to historically low levels. In 2011, 4.4 percent of 8th graders, 13.7 percent of 10th graders, and 25 percent of 12th graders reported getting drunk in the past month, continuing a downward trend from previous years. Significant declines include sharp drops from previous years in daily alcohol use by 10th and 12th graders (0.8 percent and 2.1 percent, respectively, in 2011). In 2011, 21.6 percent of high-school seniors reported binge drinking (defined as 5 or more drinks in a row in the past 2 weeks)—a drop of almost one-third since the late 1990s.

Tobacco

Fewer teens now smoke cigarettes than smoke marijuana. Cigarette smoking by high-school students peaked in 1996–1997 and has declined continuously since then. In 2011, 11.7 percent of students surveyed by MTF were current (past-month) cigarette smokers—the lowest teen smoking has been in the history of the survey. By comparison, 15.2 percent were current marijuana smokers.

Other forms of smoked tobacco are becoming popular, however. The use of hookah water pipes and small cigars has raised public health concerns and has recently been added to the MTF survey. In 2011, 18.5 percent of 12th graders had smoked a hookah at some point in the past year, and 19.5 percent had smoked a small cigar.